Approved: rating given by Mom & Dad to their daughter’s new boyfriend, who’s in medical school

Non-approved: rating given by Mom & Dad to their daughter’s new boyfriend, who’s working at the car wash

Bonding: the cosmic unison of two people’s souls, aura’s and karma

Bonding jumper: a criminal who disappears after someone posts his bond

Continuos load: your live-in mother in-law

Conductor: the person who drives the train

Conduit: at Romitti Electric we "con-duit" for you. All jobs large or small, we deliver safe, quality work

Dead front: an affliction that occasionally effects adult males

Demand factor: a point at which Dad finally gives in and says yes to his daughter’s insistent demands for another new pair of shoes

Dimmer: what all the lights in the house seem to be after the handyman repairs the bathroom outlet

Dust tight: something with so much dust on it, that it can’t be cleaned

Exposed: the condition of the plumber, who is bent over working under your sink

Feeder: something your wife yells at you to do at 2:00 in the morning, when you’re two-week-old daughter is crying

Fire: 1: what you should do to the handyman one hour after he starts remodeling your kitchen; 2: what often happens because you didn’t fire the handyman

Fish tape: tape used to repair fish

Flash light: usually what immediately follows after the "OHM" chant (see ohm)

Grounded: the removal or suspension of your teenager's privileges for coming in after curfew

Grounding: the threat of the removal or suspension of your teenagers privileges for coming in after curfew (see "Grounded")

Hazardous location: your teenage son’s bedroom

Hertz: Americas #1 car rental dealer; Mega-hertz: a whole lotta #1 car rental dealers

Hickey bender: what fathers want to do to the boys who make those black marks on their daughter’s necks

Ohm: part of a chant that handymen use when connecting two wires together "Ohmmm I hope this worrrrks"

Outlet: a large discount shopping area; Light outlet: a large discount shopping area for non-serious, occasional shoppers; Power outlet: a large discount shopping area for serious, heavy-duty shoppers

Overloaded: what your brain becomes while trying to explain those questionable deductions to the IRS agent

Qualified person: everyone on Romitti Electric’s staff

Screwdriver: a strong drink made of orange juice and vodka, needed immediately after the "FLASH LIGHT" to calm the handyman’s nerves (see ohm and flashlight)

Special permission: what fathers give to their daughters on Prom night, to stay out after curfew

Switch: a thin, strong branch, usually form a hickory tree, applied by Dad to Jonny’s backside, after sneaking off with the car; 3-way switch: same as above, but adding Jonny’s two brothers who were discovered to be Jonny’s accomplices; 4-way switch: includes sister Joanie

Switchboard: what Ernestine the operator works at (one ringy-dingy)

T-rated: approved by Mr. "T"

Volts: what a good citizen does on the first Tuesday in November

Voltmeter: device used to count "volts" on election day

Wet location: a baby’s bottom after six hours of no diaper changes

ZIGZAG Transformer: the dude at the head shop who can transform a paper into a special cigarette, using only one hand

120/240: the blood pressure of the handyman as he guesses his way through your kitchen remodeling

277/480: the homeowner's blood pressure after learning he has to spend thousands of dollars more, because everything the handyman did is wrong, and has to be redone

Sparky’s Daffynitions are intended to be fun and entertaining. Unfortunately there are many so-called "electricians" out there who don’t know the difference.

At Romitti Electric, we take our profession, and your safety, very seriously. Our staff knows the correct definitions and applications of all these items and many more. Through training, supervision and many years of experience, hard work and study, our staff is able to provide you, your family and property with safe, quality installations and maintenance.

Go with the professionals, go with Romitti.

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